I was studying in Texas,the US.When I tried to tell our professor that "here I am," I said "I'm coming." The professor can't be more embarrassed.（在美国德州读书期间，当时想向教授表达"我来了"，然后我来了句"I'm coming"。教授整个人都不好了。）
"I'm coming" is often said by people when they are about to have an orgasm. It's a phrase heard on American tv shows and movies and it's used in off-color jokes. Instead,"Here!" or "I'm not here but on the way" is what the professor thought he or she was going to hear.（"I'm coming"是人在性高潮临近时说的话，经常在美剧、电影和有色笑话里听到。怎么表达才让教授听懂呢？可以说"Here!"或者"I'm not here but on the way."）
When I travelled by air in Britain, the stewardess served me some water and I said "Thanks", she said"cheers", then I raised my cup. She looked puzzled. Then out of the plane I found almost all people, from Customs staff to shuttle bus driver, were saying "cheers." Why cheers? I have no glass in hand!（去英国时坐飞机，空姐倒完水之后我说Thanks，空姐说Cheers，于是我就对她举了举杯。空姐当时就惊呆了。再之后从海关到机场大巴司机，一路上都有人跟我说cheers，我就疑惑了啊，我这手里也没杯子啊怎么cheers？！）
点评：英国人说cheers表示"谢谢，再见"的意思。British use "cheers" as "thank you and good bye!"
When a US colleague asked me what I had for lunch, I said "dog food," which should have been "doggy bag." He laughed wildly.（美国同事问我中午吃了啥？我想说吃了打包的饭菜，话到嘴边变成了狗粮。他看着我狂笑三分钟。）
点评：这真的很好笑！I can see why he laughed!
When I was in Britain, one of my Chinese classmates wanted to make some chicken soup, so he went to the grocery. He said he wanted to buy "chicken," not knowing the word "hen." So when the grocer showed him a rooster, my classmate shook his head and said"I don't want this one, I want his wife!"（在英国，一中国同学去菜场想买母鸡回来炖汤喝，不会说hen，只想到说要chicken，人家指给他一个大公鸡，他摇摇头，说：I don't want this one, I want his wife.）
A friend in New York City asked strangers the way to the Statue of Liberty and said "Where is the Free Woman?"（一个朋友去纽约问路，管自由女神叫The Free Woman！）
An airport staffer asked me "Who are you flying with?" and I said "Myself." He was surprised and then laughed, adding "Which airline?"（机场工作人员问：Who are you flying with?（你坐哪家航空公司？）我答：Myself。对方大囧，一笑之后补充：Which airline?）