【雅思范文点评】如何看待私家车的普及

Advantages and disadvantages of private cars.

With the fantastic spur both in industry and in economy in China, the number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But there have been two quite different views on this phenomenon.

Some claim that there are many advantages brought about by cars. First, the automobile industry provides jobs for countless workers and strong support for other industries. Second, if conditions permit, owning a car can make us work more efficiently. Finally, life will become more convenient. A car allows one to move freely and with a car there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.

However, others strongly object to the increase in developing private cars. They hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run in the street, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic congestion so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.

In my opinion, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more energy consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Traffic accidents kill thousands and thousands of people each year and cripple more. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore I am against developing private cars.

点评：一分为二陈述事实，观点清晰，层次分明

但是，最后结尾概括自己的观点的时候，有马失前蹄的嫌疑，收尾不如中间精彩，特别是很牵强的凑句子：交通事故越来越多，跟私家车越来越多没有必然联系，小编觉得这就有点消极被动了，大部分事故是人为的，而非车多造成的，就像中国人口多，所以死亡率怎么算也比其他国家高一样，收尾是阅卷老师看的重点，希望鸭子们还是避免虎头蛇尾式的收尾。