✍️ 原创高分范文示例与深度剖析
我们假设题目是雅思写作中常见的环境与科技结合类话题:
题目:Some people think that artificial photosynthesis technology should be developed to address energy and environmental problems. Others believe it is too costly and we should focus on existing solutions like solar power. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
(原创范文开始)
引言段
The twin crises of climate change and energy scarcity have spurred the search for innovative solutions. Among these, artificial photosynthesis, which aims to mimic plants by using sunlight to produce clean fuel, has garnered significant attention. While some argue that its development is prohibitively expensive and that resources should be directed towards proven technologies like solar panels, I believe that strategic investment in this frontier technology is a necessary long-term endeavor.
段落剖析:
回应任务:首句引入背景,第二句解释核心概念(artificial photosynthesis),第三句清晰引出双方观点并表明自己立场。完全覆盖题目要求。
词汇与语法:使用 twin crises, spurred the search for, prohibitively expensive, frontier technology 等学术短语。句型多样(非限定性定语从句、让步状语从句)。
主体段一 (讨论反对方观点)
Critics of artificial photosynthesis rightly highlight its formidable challenges. Currently, the process is far less efficient and vastly more expensive than simply installing photovoltaic cells. The research requires substantial funding, which, they contend, could be better spent on deploying and improving established renewable infrastructure. For instance, investing in grid upgrades for existing solar and wind power would yield immediate and measurable reductions in carbon emissions.
段落剖析:
连贯与逻辑:主题句明确。用 Currently, For instance 衔接,论证“成本高、应投资现有技术”这一观点,逻辑流畅。
话题词汇:formidable challenges, photovoltaic cells, deploying, grid upgrades, measurable reductions 精准描述了技术困境和替代方案。
主体段二 (讨论支持方观点并阐述己见)
Nevertheless, dismissing this technology based on current limitations would be short-sighted. Artificial photosynthesis offers unique potential that conventional renewables lack: it directly produces storable chemical fuels, such as hydrogen, from just sunlight, water, and CO₂. This addresses the intermittency issue plaguing solar and wind power and provides a direct pathway to decarbonize sectors difficult to electrify, like aviation and heavy industry. Therefore, while scaling up solar power remains crucial, pursuing artificial photosynthesis in parallel represents a complementary strategy for a holistic energy transition.
段落剖析:
论证深度:这是核心段落。不仅支持该技术,更通过对比(unique potential),指出其解决“储能”(intermittency issue)和“难减排领域”的核心优势,体现了深刻的思考。
语言亮点:short-sighted, complementary strategy, holistic energy transition 是高分表达。用 This addresses... and provides... 清晰地展现了因果链条。
结论段
In conclusion, although the development of artificial photosynthesis is indeed capital-intensive and faces technical hurdles, its prospective benefits in creating sustainable fuels and mitigating climate change are too significant to ignore. A balanced approach, which prioritizes the rollout of mature technologies while funding essential research into groundbreaking ones like artificial photosynthesis, is the most prudent path forward.
段落剖析:
总结立场:重申双方要点,并强化自己“平衡发展”的观点,与引言段立场一致且有所升华。
语言概括力:capital-intensive, prospective benefits, prudent path forward 用词准确、正式,有力收尾。
? 如何将“光合作用”话题融入雅思备考
构建话题词汇库:从范文中提炼核心词汇,并主动扩充。
环境问题:climate change, carbon emissions, decarbonize, mitigate
能源技术:renewable energy, intermittent, storable fuels, sustainable
研发与投资:frontier technology, capital-intensive, funding, research and development (R&D)
掌握论证框架:对于这种“Discuss both views”题型,范文展示了一个清晰的结构:
引言:背景 + 题目议题概括 + 个人观点。
主体段1:详细讨论一方(通常先写你不太同意的一方)。
主体段2:详细讨论另一方,并在此深入阐述你同意的理由(这是你论证的核心)。
结论:总结双方,重申并深化自己的立场。
进行联想练习:“光合作用”概念可以关联到多个雅思常考话题:
环境:解决气候变化、空气污染。
科技:创新的利弊、政府资助科研的角色。
能源:传统能源与新能源的比较、国家能源安全。
农业:提高作物效率、解决粮食问题。
如果你需要我就其他特定雅思题型(如图表作文、同意与否类)或其他科学相关话题(如太空探索、基因工程)提供类似的范文剖析和写作指导,可以随时提出,我能为你定制更具针对性的练习方案。