SAT写作官方样题高分范文：Let there be dark（4）

本文给大家分享SAT写作样题“Let there be dark”的一篇范文，本文得分2 1 2，作文题目及更多分数段范文，请点击入口。

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Sample Student Essays of “Let There Be Dark.” ©2012 by Los Angeles Times. Originally published December 21, 2012.

Scores: 2 1 2

Paul Bogard builds a very persuasive argument to persuade his audience that natural darkness should be preserved. Bogard uses many features such as touch, feeling, seeing or even our own senses. Touching all of these features within Bogard’s essay will make his argument stronger on wheather natural darkness should be preserved.

One of the senses Bogard uses within his essay is touch. He concludes that many species depend on the darkness. I think that this is an important part to Bogard’s essay because it is showing that not only humans depend on this. Darkness tends to evolve all over the world for a variety of things.

Another sense that Bogard uses is feeling. He compares the rythm into which light and dark days exist. Many medical centers have concluded that are bodies need darkness to produce many different hormones and to continue with processes to keep us alive. Paul shows how many different characteristics affect how important darkness is to a human body.

In Bogard’s essay he talks about many different religious tradition that vaule darkness. I think that this topic Bogard uses appeals to emotion to many different religious groups. Giving evidence of a historical artist Van Gogh adds a lot of emotion to this particular essay.

In Bogard’s essay he provides information about technologies that are determining different light fixtures. Comparing how cities and towns across the world are changing thier ways of light is going to be wasted.

I think that Bogard’s essay is particulary strong. He uses a lot of evidence with emotion. Providing a variety of different examples on how darkness should be perserved gives a lot of power to the ideas that are expressed.

This response scored a 2/1/2.

Reading—2: This response demonstrates some understanding of the source text. The writer captures Bogard’s central claim by repeating the prompt’s summary statement about the importance of preserving natural darkness and conveys understanding of a few details from the text: many species depend on darkness, our bodies need darkness to produce many different hormones, different religious traditions vaule darkness, and cities and towns across the world are changing thier ways of light. However, whenever the writer moves beyond phrasings taken directly from the passage and attempts to summarize a point Bogard has made, the interpretation is often unclear or inaccurate (Darkness tends to evolve all over the world for a variety of things; In Bogard’s essay he provides information about technologies that are determining different light fixtures). Overall, this essay demonstrates only partial comprehension of Bogard’s argument.

Analysis—1: This writer provides a limited analysis of the source text. The writer identifies Bogard’s use of touch, feeling, seeing or even our own senses as aspects that build Bogard’s argument. However, the writer is unable to express how Bogard uses these elements specifically. For example, in the first paragraph, the writer claims that One of the senses Bogard uses within his essay is touch, but none of the ensuing discussion relates to touch at all. Instead, the writer merely goes on to summarize that Bogard concludes that many species depend on the darkness. In the third paragraph, the writer sets out to address Bogard’s use of feeling, but again, the analysis is not clearly relevant; nor does the writer clearly explain how the examples cited from Bogard’s text relate to “feeling.” In the fourth paragraph, the writer appropriately identifies Bogard’s use of emotion to build his argument, but the discussion doesn’t extend beyond identification: I think that this topic Bogard uses appeals to emotion to many different religious groups. Giving evidence of a historical artist Van Gogh adds a lot of emotion to this particular essay. The writer seems to have a sense of the form that analysis should take, but this response demonstrates ineffective analysis overall.

Writing—2: This response demonstrates limited cohesion and skill in the use and control of language. The writer has provided a skeletal organizational structure for the essay, with a brief introduction that sets up the writer’s central claim, and paragraphs that roughly follow the order of the points the writer intends to discuss: Bogard uses many features such as touch, feeling, seeing or even our own senses. However, the essay lacks a progression of ideas within paragraphs; instead, ideas are disconnected from one another, so although the essay has the appearance of being ordered into logical paragraphs, the actual content of those paragraphs does not demonstrate cohesion (In Bogard’s essay he provides information about technologies that are determining different light fixtures. Comparing how cities and towns across the world are changing thier ways of light is going to be wasted). In this essay, organization and language errors (such as syntactically awkward sentences and sentence fragments) detract from the quality of the writing and often impede understanding, leading to a score of 2.