引以为戒 雅思4分大作文是这样出炉的!

雅思写作一直是中国考生的软肋，相信各位烤鸭们已看过无数高分作文甚至是满分作文了。今天小编就带就带着大家一起分析一下剑5给出的一篇4分大作文，看能否在这篇文章里找到自己的影子。

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

不难看出题目是教育类话题，要求考生对于大学应该在每一个科目内招收相同性别比例的学生这一主题进行讨论。

下边是一份4分作文实例，请各位耐心看完。

According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Therefore, this essay will show some reasons of argument for and argument against.

Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin with universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject because it will be balance of idea while studying. In general, there usually are different ideas between man and woman. These lead to, new ideas from different vision will happen. Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept in each side. In addition, nowadays, the most societies become to accept ability of both in any way.

Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of argument against that is some subjects not suitable for each other. For example, some subject of sports such as weigh putting. It is not suitable for female because there are different of body between male and female.

In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Moreover, it depend on what the subjects that the students want to study, they can choose by themselves because I believe that if the students like to study their subjects, they will do it well so that I strongly agree with this topic.

此篇“神作”并没有一个主要论点，而且开头段的导入作用和全文观点陈述作用完全没有。除了模式化的介绍之外，文章并没有论述和题目有关的内容。而且考生的观点非常不连贯，题目被原封不动地抄写了三遍，字数也只有181个字，所以字数方面也导致了失分。

考生的文章被划分成几部分，但是很明显各个段落之间的联系并不清楚，一些连词的使用也欠考虑。这个问题在开头段十分明显，而且第二段的表述也显得过分模式化和生硬。

对于模板语言的过分依赖和考生对于材料的运用都能体现出考生的词汇量很有限，有很多重复和不准确的地方。考生尝试着运用不同的结构和句型，但是显然效果并不是很理想。而且语法和标点符号的错误出现的很频繁，对读者的理解造成了很很大影响。

从考官的评语中我们可以看出考官紧扣写作评分标准，从Task response(任务回应)

Coherence and cohesion(一致与连接) Lexical resource(词汇资源) Grammatical range and accuracy (语法范围与正确性)四个方面进行评分。

希望此篇文章为各位考生提供借鉴，避免写作低分窘状。本文转载自公众号北外雅思，如有任何版权问题，请联系小站管理员修改或删除。