雅思口语9分素材大搜集——童年傻傻的我

注：表红处为推荐学习背诵语料

The most foolish thing I did as a child- I grew up to be an adult

1.I pooped in a urinal(翻译不雅，此处从略).
当一位从未使用过公厕的二年级男生逼不得已走进了。。。

I was in second grade. And although I had been in school for a while, I had somehow never needed to use the school bathrooms. I either didn't need to or I held it in because I thought they would be "messy" places -- my memories are vague on this point. I had also never ever used a public restroom of any kind before. All this is to say, I had no idea what a "urinal" was.

Now there came one day in school when I really, really needed to poop badly and I realized I couldn't hold it in till I got home from school. So I had no choice but to enter a "public toilet" for the first time in my life. So I went in, and behold! -- these shiny porcelain objects whose purposes were a mystery to me. They sorta looked like the toilet seats I had exclusively used till that point, but they were hanging from the wall and it seemed very difficult to sit on them! Oh the quandary.

I sheepishly asked some kid in the restroom if these things were the ones we had to use to do our business and he replied in the affirmative, assuming, I suppose, that I was talking about peeing. Consigning my doubts over the design of the device to the back of my mind, I dropped my pants, climbed onto the urinal and did my business. A few other kids came in and with an expression of shock on their faces, pointed to the toilet stalls on the other side of the urinal bank and exclaimed that I should be using those for what I'm doing! Mystified, I stared at the direction they were pointing, and indeed, in those tiny rooms were the devices I had been expecting when I entered the toilet. Too late now, I had no choice but to ignore everybody, clean myself up and get away from there as fast as possible!

Luckily, none of the people I had encountered knew me so I was able to slip back into gentle anonymity and eventually go home. I told my mom the whole story later in the day and with an amused expression she proceeded to teach me about the purposes of a urinal. I later learnt about the aftermath of the 'incident' by way of rumors -- some crazy kid who'd done an unbelievably gross act and the poor janitor who had had to clean up after him.

2. I tried to prove that girls can pee standing.（同上）

每个小女孩，都曾为男女平等而努力过，即使失败了。

So when I was a kid, I think in the second or third grade, I wondered how was it that guys could pee standing. That gave them the advantage of peeing anywhere they wanted, especially in cases of urgency. That was unfair. I thought it was because their pants had a zipper. But then I discovered, we have zippers too. Perhaps we can pee standing too, just someone needed to set the trend.

The day came when we were at a relative's marriage party, and I needed to pee urgently. My mom took me to the washroom and I decided to prove it.

I came out with wet pants. My mom didn't understand how her little genius suddenly managed to wet her pants completely after years of peeing properly. I spent the rest of the party in the car. I was still unable to understand why I failed.

Yeah. I get the reason now.

3.I set the house on fire using just a Magnifying glass.（放大镜烧着了房子）

每一个男孩，内心都曾是一个纵火狂（pyromaniac）（整篇写得妙趣横生，每句话都是值得收藏的）

As a kid I was all fascinated with fire, still am, but at that time it was sheer sorcery for me how things burnt, charred, the smoke ascended in air, and mostly how the colourful flames danced in the air.

Of course I pestered my parents on letting me play with it, to get my hands on a match-box, but how could they?

At last being the doting father my dad was, at an age of around 5 I was introduced to the magical device called a magnifying glass, which when held in sunlight so as to focus the light at a small point on a paper, could burn a hole in it.

Dad probably did it just to fulfil my wish in the safest possible way. He is a genius I tell you.

But little did he know my ambitions didn't stop at burning holes in papers. Yes, you got it right, I set out to burn the entire world to ashes with my newly found weapon of mass-destruction, my tool of sorcery, my Magnifying Glass.

I literally kept a magnifying glass in pocket while going to school, intending to scare off anyone if I were to get into any fight. (Un)fortunately never could put it to that use.

But that was a sense of unlimited power, the power of fire, the entire power of the Sun in my pocket.

Now before holding the world at ransom with the fear of being burnt to ashes, I had to verify if I could execute my plan as intended.

My laboratory used to be the store-room in the house with a big window, which when opened, let a fair amount of sun in, letting me carry out my experiments unhindered.

After paper the next material I put to test was plastic - the plastic bags, packs etc., often coming out in garbage. I was fascinated at how plastic packs didn't directly burn but instead went all soft and then melted in to a soft gooey mess. But of course it took much longer to melt plastic with a magnifying glass and it meant long gruelling hours holding the magnifying glass, almost paralysing my good hand.

So next was devising a stand for my magnifying glass that could be used to hold it in position, and needed to flexible enough to be moved as per the direction of the sun. I achieved it using a study lamp with a flexible neck that didn't work and was thrown away in the store-room, using some duct tape to attach the magnifying glass to it. Now this was convenient, all I had to do was move the neck of the lamp as the direction of sun through the window changed.

I even burnt bits of hair and was fascinated at how they would shrink on being burnt.

Even at that tender age I had a good understanding that the task at hand wasn't easy, and I'd probably need a very big Magnifying glass to burn things which were bigger or took longer to burn OR..that's when the brilliant idea struck me, a BIG fire.

Now I had seen the dried leaves and twigs from the plants burnt pretty easily when my dad did the cleaning up. That meant I could start a fire using the dried up stuff and use it to burn stuff that took longer, like plastic, or presumably even metal.

So finally my big day arrived. I had volunteered the previous day to clean up all the dried leaves, to the astonishment of my proud parents. I had it all ready - the dried leaves & twigs, all the plastic I could gather, and lots of old newspapers, all filled into an old plastic tub available in the same store-room.

I added a layer of dried leaves at the top and the bottom as they would be the one to start the fire. And then all I had to do was place my magnifying glass stand into position, right in the path of sun coming in through the window.

Happy with the set-up I saw the results within a few minutes with smoke rising. A little blowing into the smoke and in another few minutes I could see little flames leaping up from the pile. It was time to put everything I had ever wished to test in to that tub one by one to see how it burnt.

Then it struck me that I had never tested how rubber burnt. I remembered having rubber pipes used to water the plants and I ran to fetch it.

I guess it must have taken me much longer to locate my new material to be tested and in the meanwhile my mom, who was in the kitchen, had smelt something burning. She traced it and went close to the store-room just to see the curtains on the store room window engulfed in huge flames of leaping fire. I was performing my experiment close to the window I told you.

She ran screaming, luckily dad was at home and so was my uncle. Everyone ran rushing in with buckets of water, I remember someone snatching away the pipe I was getting back with and pushing me out of the house. We didn't have a telephone at home in those days or someone would have called up the fire department as well.

It wasn't long when most the room was on fire. By the time the fire was in control, most of the things in the store-room had already burnt or charred. But the situation was under control at last.

After all of it was over, I was brave enough to step-up and admit that it was an experiment gone wrong. Not to mention I was reprimanded well and all sorts of combustible items, match-boxes, and Magnifying glasses, or any sort of lenses were kept well out of my reach for the next several years to come.

4. 体温计事件（thermometer accident）

好奇害死猫
During my childhood, i was always surrounded with doubts about one or other things of the nature.And some times these doubts lead to increased curiosity in me and made me do stupid things.

Fourth class:

once i suffered from fever for over a period of 4 days which made me bunk the school. The next day my parents felt that i had recovered. So they wanted to check my body temperature and so they took out the thermometer from the cupboard.(normally they used to hide things like these so that i wouldn't do any mischievous experiments with them). They gave me the thermometer to clean it under tap water and then put it in my mouth for checking temperature. I went to kitchen to clean it and i successfully completed my job. Then i observed something boiling on the stove. I took a closer look at that and found that Sambar is being prepared. Then a crazy thought had struck in my mind. I wondered what might be the temperature of the Sambar. So without second thoughts, i dipped the thermometer into the sambar and started observing it. the mercury in the thermometer begin to rise rapidly and in no time it reached to the top of the tube. I noticed this and at once pulled out the thermometer. thermometer was saved, so i silently went to the hall keeping the thermometer in my mouth. then my father asked me to show him the thermometer. and when he examined it, he was surprised to find that it is showing a temperature of 108 c. so again asked me to clean it and bring. i again went to the kitchen, cleaned it. this time again i had put it in the sambar. and i turned back to see whether any person is watching me or not.and suddenly a sound came out of nowhere. so looked at front to see what happened. Then i was startled to see that the sound came from the blasting of thermometer tip. i was so panicked that i couldn't tell my father what had happened actually. so i said that i had hit a wall while walking from the kitchen. they believed it but kept searching for the broken glass pieces, which they couldn't find any. And now it's time for lunch. I heard that mercury is dangerous to life, so gathered all my courage and finally told my parents about it. I thought that i would get some nice shots with my school belt. But to my surprise they weren't so serious. instead they after some time they begin to wonder why i got that strange idea of measuring the temperature of Sambar. And to this day whenever i hold a thermometer in my hand, my parents used to tease me of this incident.

This led to many points of contention as kids (today we are very close). One crucial point was food related. We both loved Popsicles immensely.

One time, I'm guessing I was 5 or maybe 6 I noticed a grave issue. There was only one popsicle left in the fridge and my mom wasn't supposed to go to the supermarket for at least another day!

I wasn't allowed to take a Popsicle without getting permission first but I knew any request for permission could prompt an argument over who would get the last one. Similar debates in the past had yielded less than satisfactory results. Most recently, a popsicle had been split in two, with me being expected to eat the slightly larger but stickless upper half. It was a risk I just couldn't afford to take.

I knew what I had to do. I waited for a moment my mom and brother were both distracted and snuck over to the fridge. I opened the freezer and grabbed the Popsicle. In hindsight, I probably should not have left the box in the freezer - my mom would never have done that and it was what led to my ruse being discovered.

I snuck up to my room and threw my Popsicle into a drawer. Only three more hours until bedtime when I'll be able to sneak out of bed and devour this baby!

I went back to playing with my brother and mom and... totally forgot about the whole thing.

The next day my mom was making her shopping list and saw the empty Popsicle box in the freezer. She was amused and asked which one of us had taken the last one. Needless to say I broke down and confessed immediately, leading her and my brother to the crime scene.

Only when I opened the drawer did it occur to me that there was a reason Popsicles are kept in the freezer... The whole drawer was filled with a sticky green puddle and my brother and mom were on the floor laughing.

6. 自行车惊魂一刻（bicycle scare moment）

单车公路竞速的小插曲

Dad got me a shiny new red bicycle when I was 8. My first love.

I'd be found competing in silly races with kids in the neighborhood nearly all day. Be it early morning, or late night, I was a free bird. Learning to do all kinds of stunts(the bike had side wheels :P) and speeding like crazy.

Dad put a boundary limit beyond which I was forbidden to venture. Essentially, I was not to go beyond the block lanes. This didn't really bother mefor a while. I think you can guess where the story goes from here.

One day I decided I've had enough of the street play and it'd be fun to take on the main road where the monster trucks and sports cars used to play. I considered myself an expert driver now, having beaten most of the kids in the block.

Once out on the Main road, I went into a frenzy. I (stupidly) thought it'll be cool to compete with a Honda City, and started cycling like crazy, though still along the side of the road, away from trouble.

Soon enough, the only thing I had eyes for was the City. My bike was right in the middle of the road, and I was having the time of my life.

And just then-Screeching tires. A split second later-Crash!

My happy place bubble burst and evaporated on the spot.

Boy, I was on the wrong side of the road. And the guy in the car just behind me had put on emergency brakes to avoid hitting me. But the guy right behind him, was not so fast.

I was stunned for a moment, when time stood still, and it felt like everyone was looking at me with accusation-filled eyes, but I came to life a second later and pedalled away as fast as my cycle would carry me. My heartbeat twice as normal, I circled around the neighborhood for a while, in fear of people finding out my home. Turns out they never did. And I didn't tell anyone about it. :)

7. 机关算尽（useless device）

Either way I spent hours with string, bags and cake ingredients making systems that didn't really work, served no purpose and drove my poor parents nuts.

8.误导（misdirection）
独身子女的苦恼

One of the downsides of being an only child is having no one to share the blame. So when I was around 4 years old I invented an imaginary brother to pal around with. He was also apparently quite clumsy.

One night I accidently knocked one of my mother's nick-knacks off the dresser and damaged it. I put it back towards the back of the display area, hoping she wouldn't notice. Of course she did. When she asked me what happened, I panicked and blamed it on my brother.

My imaginary brother.

The lie shocked her so much, I think she was more concerned for my sanity than my ethics, so I got off lite. But my parents talked about it for years so I couldn't do it again.

9. Aged 8 and my first public mimicry（模仿首秀）

我的模仿秀

Last day of school before summer vacations was celebrated as a "party-day" in every classroom. We got different foods from home, ate together, and the teacher asked everyone to perform something for the whole class. I went and staged a mimicry of the class-teacher right in front of her. And there wasn't one action or catchphrase of hers that I did not imitate. Samples: "I am going to clip your mouth with this if I see you talking again (her hairpin)", checking herself in the mirror after arriving in the morning, putting on lipstick while looking at the mirror, being chatty and giggly while gossiping with another teacher, throwing a chalk at a child who is not concentrating in her class, and yeah, a bit of teaching too.Thankfully, the teacher was a sport and praised me a lot. Even brought in other teachers and made me perform again.